Monday, July 15, 2013

What was I thinking?

A couple of years ago I decided that I should go to school to become a RN. I went into the process unprepared and naive. I took a full load of classes every semester in hopes of being prepared for the RN program. I knew there was a big chance I would not be one of the twenty five selected to enter the two year program.
Alas, I was selected. What followed after that can only be described as a whirlwind. Information was thrown at us. Deadlines to meet. Books, uniforms, and supplies were bought. Two different orientations were attended. Then the first semester started.

Unfortunately, I had not finished all of my non-nursing classes before the program started, therefore I had to complete those classes on top of my nursing classes.

I was in way over my head. Four days of classes a week with twelve hour clinicals on the weekend. Endless hours of homework.
If I only had to worry about me and school it might not have been too bad. But I have a family...a husband, three children (one a toddler), pets, and other family.
I struggled with time management. During the day I had two children home with me to try to keep fed and occupied, as well as making sure one attended preschool twice a week. But still I tried. I tried to do homework every moment I could steal away. After the kids went to bed I would do homework until I couldn't see straight anymore. The next morning I would get up before the kids to try to get more done.
I did fine, grade-wise the first semester.

The second semester started with me being exhausted and just got worse. I couldn't stay up late anymore...I couldn't focus.
I almost didn't pass the first eight weeks.
The second eight weeks I think I unconsciously gave up. I failed.

That is it. You fail a class, you are out.

So now I am back to being a stay-at-home mom. I had missed it so much. Being home with my children. Simple, silly things like making dinner.

Now things have settled. The kids are on summer break, we had a vacation, and now we are trying to get into a normal routine.

I realized something yesterday. I am a crappy mom.
My kids have all but lost their manners.
My house is unorganized.
My house is in desperate need of a deep cleaning.
My oldest child has not progresses in a few areas that she should have.
My middle child cannot tie her shoes or ride a bike without training wheels (and not super great with them).
My youngest child, who is getting ready to go to preschool, does not know his letters (by sight) or a few other things that I feel he should know before going to preschool (both of my other children did).
My youngest also still sleeps with a pacifier.

I have slacked in the mom responsibility area greatly. I only hope I can get things back to where they should be in a timely matter.

I hate it when you realize your not as awesome as you thought you were.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Life update

 After Christmas, we went up in the mountains to take the kids sledding. We haven't had much snow (at that time), but we found a place to play. My kids haven't been sledding other than just in our yard and they were super excited. We all had a great time (except my sister-in-law got hurt).

Josh and Hannah went on a field trip with Hannah's school to Washington D.C. They had a great time. Such a good time, in fact, that Josh is already planning a family trip up there. Ha ha.

Easter was nice this year. Josh's sister was in town and we got to visit with them some. Unfortunately my niece had the flu so we didn't get to spend time with them until later.

After Easter was spring break. Yay! a break from school. We took the kids on vacation to TN.

This is the kids at Dollywood. We had never been there and it was a lot of fun.

We all love to play miniature golf. This is one of the places we played (Hannah took the picture).

My niece finally got over the flu and we had an egg hunt at our house. The kids love finding the eggs. In fact they had so much fun I think a summer scavenger hunt might be in the works ;-)

So there was the short sweet version of the last few months. It has been busy. I really enjoyed spring break and kind of dread going to class tonight. But...back to reality :)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

No time.

I wish I had more time to blog (or even to read the blogs I love to read). I so enjoy writing, but alas nursing school is taking up all of my time.
Speaking of...must go start some homework...

I have something weighing on my mind.
A situation someone I love is in. A situation that I cannot help with.
Sure, I can offer advice, but I want so bad to help.
I have issues with things I cannot control.
I have ideas on how to try to help the situation, but I can only suggest them and then step back.
Try not to pressure.
Try not to get to involved.
Try to just be here with support. 
Love this person no matter what happens.
Pray about it.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it is just hard to see the reason.
We need to just have faith that everything will be okay.